Today it is me…and tomorrow you…

Death affects you, how much ever you try to remain stoic. It forces you to look more deeply to this life that we live, knowing well that this life and so also these feelings about death are only fleeting.

There has been three very important men in my life; my Father, my FIL (Achayan) and my Hubby and one of them has left this earthly abode. It is from them that I have learned to understand, love and respect the men folk.

Our Achayan passed away in his sleep early morning of 17th of February. Hubby was with him in the palliative care centre until 10:30 PM, the previous night. It was my MIL along with the home nurse who was staying the night. Soon after coming home, Hubby called me and shared the day’s events. But he also started crying while seated on his Father’s favourite easy chair. He said he imagined Achayan walking through the gate. Coincidently, it was at the same time that Achayan breathed his last in the hospital. Being the youngest, he was much attached to his Father and his death has affected him a lot. I consoled him and asked him to get some sleep. We were still up here in Kuwait and the next call at 11:30 PM or so sounded ominous and I knew in my heart that the news was going to be bad. It was my Hubby calling to inform that Achayan had passed away at 1:05 AM and that he was proceeding to the hospital. A few days back, one of his relations asked Hubby if there were any birthdays or such other occasion in the family. Upon enquiring why, he said that recently he has been seeing deaths happen on these occasions and he asked Hubby to be prepared. And true to his prediction, Achayan died on our wedding anniversary. Call it a quirk of fate or a loving Father’s good bye to those who loved him a lot. The funeral was held on 20th and me and kids were able to attend it. It was a blessed occasion and all whom Achayan cared for, were there to bid him good bye.

It would be our desire to have our loved ones beside us as many years as possible but I guess God has His own plans and we can do nothing but accept it. But we are thankful that Achayan was spared from pain and discomfort, and the days that he lived on this earth, he lived it in his own terms.

A reminder to oneself….

The following must have been an email forward sent to me by a well wisher a few years back… I am not sure why I saved it… but the words continue to inspire me..

The good you find in others is in you too.

The faults you find in others are your faults as well.

After all, to recognize something you must know it.

The possibilities you see in others, are possible for you as well.

The beauty you see around you, is your beauty.

The world around you is a reflection, a mirror showing you the person you are.

To change your world, you must change yourself.

To blame and complain will only make matters worse.

Whatever you care about, is your responsibility.

What you see in others, shows you yourself.

See the best in others, and you will be your best.

Give to others, and you give to yourself.

Appreciate beauty, and you will be beautiful.

Admire creativity, and you will be creative.

Love, and you will be loved.

Seek to understand, and you will be understood.

Listen, and your voice will be heard.

Show your best face to the mirror, and you’ll be happy with the face looking back at you.

ID Holidays

We had 10 days of ID holidays and coming back to work was like the first day of school after vacation. I am sure the kids enjoyed our reluctance to get ready for work. Finally their feelings are being acknowleged!

Went to the Scientific Center with another family on the first day of ID.

Looks like nothing excites the present generation. The children felt it was much better watching Animal Planet, although some of the inmates did invite their curiosity. We planned BBq’s and picnics but it all had to be shelved since son got sick. Must be the recent change in weather. But then being at home was relaxing too. Watched movies and did some cooking. Could put up the Xmas tree too.

A lone cat soaking in the sun at the entrance of the center. It looked quiet tame; maybe its owner is jogging somewhere nearby.

Guillain-Barre syndrome

My FIL was suffering from Guillain-Barre syndrome which is an uncommon inflammatory disorder in which your body’s immune system attacks your nerves, typically causing severe weakness and numbness that usually starts in your extremities and quickly worsens. Eventually your whole body can become paralyzed, even the muscles used for breathing.
There’s no cure for Guillain-Barre syndrome. But two treatments have been shown to speed the recovery from and reduce the severity of the disorder:

 Plasmapheresis. This treatment — also known as plasma exchange — is a type of “blood cleansing” in which damaging antibodies are removed from your blood. Plasmapheresis consists of removing the liquid portion of your blood (plasma) and separating it from the actual blood cells. The blood cells are then put back into your body, which manufactures more plasma to make up for what was removed. It’s not clear why this treatment works, but scientists believe that plasmapheresis rids plasma of certain antibodies that contribute to the immune system attack on the peripheral nerves.

 Intravenous immunoglobulin. Immunoglobulin contains healthy antibodies from blood donors. High doses of immunoglobulin can block the damaging antibodies that may contribute to Guillain-Barre syndrome.

FIL was given the second one and it brought back the use of his hands and the sensation to his legs. He was discharged on 1st December and by God’s grace was able to greet the new year from his home. Hubby and his brother took turns to look after him but his brother had to leave early. A wheel chair, a walker etc has been purchased and we were lucky to get a good home nurse too.

Pray that his recovery is complete by the physiotherapy.

An update

My FIL is getting better and may be shifted to the ward in a day or two. It was some sort of Syndrome affecting the veins. Since the doctors started the treatment early it did not spread. It started with his legs when he was diagnosed by another doctor (different hospital) as lack of calcium. He was using a “Walker” to walk around. But then his legs started giving away and he fell down. This made them admit him in the ICU. By God’s grace they started the treatment immediately, on advice from Dr. Madhusudan with some Chinese medicine which is very expensive.

When we enquired with a Nuerosurgeon here in Kuwait he was of the opinion that this is a good medicine and that most such medicines come from either China or Korea. The company name is Hualan Biological Engineering Inc.

If they hadn’t started the treatment in time, he would have been paralysed completely. They say the infection could have started after a normal fever.

Thanks for all the wishes and prayers.

Holidays…..

For the first time I had 6 days holidays… and felt very good.

We had planned for an outing with friends which did not work out instead made a few visits.

The only sad part is that Hubby’s Father is admitted in Hospital hence he had to cut short the holidays and travel to Kerala. Pray that he gets well soon.

But Xmas and New Year will be a lonely affair with just the kids and me.

Had a Japanese dinner at Sakura Restaurant with chop sticks, of course the modified one.

We liked the taste, though we tried only the cooked ones and not the raw ones.

And YES… MODI is returning to Power again! A hat trick. A great New Year for the BJP Party and their Man of the Match.

Kids!

The other day I heard our daughter answering the phone and then saying some secret codes. On enquiring she asked me not to tell her brother about the secret code that she shared with her girl friends. And then I remebered how our son fooled two of them the other day!

Daughter was having her bath and the call came from the 1st friend. I heard our son discussing notes, sharing answers etc. And then slyly he came and told me that she never knew it was him! And then he was lucky to receive one more call and he kept her also entertained. He was happily chatting with her and enjoying it fully.

We cannot blame these girls since me and Hubby still cannot distinguish them over the phone! I guess we have to wait for our son to break his voice and since the girls cannot wait that long they devised the secret code! How else can they share girlish secrets!

Angels..

Let me thank the Almighty for keeping us in His care. Yesterday after the kids reached home, I received a distress call from our daughter saying that the exhaust fan in the bathroom was burning! She dint have the guts to go into the bathroom but saw the fire from the balcony. Well.. i dint know what to say but then suddenly one Arab saw the fire from down and came running up.. first he asked my daughter to douse the fire but knowing well she couldn’t do it, he came running up to the third floor. I immediately called Hubby who called the nearby Indian Shop to send someone. Anyway thanks to the stranger, the fire was doused well in time even before the guy from the shop could come. When Hubby came, the kids had locked the house and the flat was still full of smoke.. this could have been another disaster.. but God is great..
They say this is the first time they hear that an exhaust can catch fire.. but a major disaster was averted. I could only thank the considerate stranger over the phone for being there and acting in haste.

The Mess

I guess I need to explain why I settled for the “Mess”!
When one joins a new company, all one strives for in the first few years is to keep the job in midst of the usual office politics etc. I did just this and besides there were financial constraints too which did not give me the flexibility to take risks. Then you settle down and find the place comfortable. It is only much later that you start thinking about the job itself!

Change

Finally I did it. I joined a new company after having served almost 10 years in the previous one.

I do miss my colleagues since the workplace had turned out to be like a second home to me.

But working too long in a company which has no appraisal systems gives you no returns. You end up being taken for granted. They keep you going with promises but with no intentions of doing so. They think that if she has worked so long in this company why should she think of moving out now? And yes, one feels very comfortable and the thought of moving on keeps you awake at night. You have hundreds of doubts and questions.

When one has worked too long in one position, the job becomes a routine and everything is just too easy for you. This means that one who sees you feel that you are not doing much. But this ease of job comes with experience. I also found out that one should come up with more problems so that your Boss can solve them. It makes them think that you are working! Well this goes for Gulf. We had one colleague who thinks he is indispensable to the organization and kept reminding the same through emails and conversations. He is the only one who regularly got increments and promotions. Every morning one gets to read minimum 5 emails, send with time and date stamp including holidays and ungodly hours. He will describe various problems with work and colleagues while pretending to solve them. But for some firms these characters are essential.

I started looking out a while ago, mainly since I wanted to know if my CV was still acceptable! I got to attend a couple of interviews and got to know my options. Finally, by the grace of God, I found one which was good for me. There is no mess like the previous one ( I had started enjoying the mess and even got addicted to them!).

I guess for everyone, even if they enjoy their current jobs, it is good to look out and if possible attend a few interviews. Keeps you updated with the current market demands and you never feel insecure.